So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
