So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
