we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
