I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Damn victory sex feels great
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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