Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
My bed smells like the plague
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
