ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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