so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
You dont lie about slip and slides
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
