I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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