I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
