i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Randomize
