he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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