I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
