so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
The adults are the big ones right?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
