I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
