I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize