The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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