Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
