he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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