She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Holy shit dude........stairs
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