I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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