Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
