She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize