i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
