she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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