I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
PS: I just woke up from my shower
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
