i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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