Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
