so explain again why im purple
no
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
