I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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