wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Do vagina's smell?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
