Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
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