Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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