Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
