worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
