We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
