Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
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Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
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I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Oh god it's open bar.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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