k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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