I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Is it penis luge time yet?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
