apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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