I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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