Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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