I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Randomize
