Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
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so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
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I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
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