i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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