Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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