he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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