My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
