he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
