I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
