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walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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