No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
as a side note pls kill me
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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