love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
My vagina is officially offended.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
