I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
