they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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