I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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