and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I am available for nakedness
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize