Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
