I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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