I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
