he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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