Why are handjobs necessary in class?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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